expectations.

My Reiki coach, Lisa, recently gave me an assignment. For one week, she wanted me to just “be”. Instead of running from my emotions and anxieties, I was to sit still, meditate more, get out in nature, and really be with my feelings. Another thing she wanted me to do was to speak with any parts of me that came up (i.e. anxiety, fear, courage, love) and just to love them, instead of pushing them away. So yeah, I was talking to myself a lot too, nothing new.

Since moving to California, its been both exciting and scary–here I am, where I’ve been wanting to live and now its time to figure it all out…

“Where will I work?”

“How am I going to meet the right people?”

“What is my passion?”

“How am I going to figure this all out?”

So instead of running to Target for the millionth time, buying something I most definitely don’t need, I was forced to sit. I was encouraged to just be. No real plans, just seeing where the wind took me. A lot of this revolved around expectations, and Lisa encouraged me to really get clear on what they mean. During this week I had a powerful shift, and I’ll share with you the journal entry that really impacted me and my life practice:

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Expectations

Part of this exercise this past week (most of it) was about expectations. I would sound off Lisa and say expectations are bullshit. Expectations go with manipulation. They derive from old patterns, beliefs, family dynamics, history. Nobody knows the answer, so how can I fear/believe that they know the answer for my life? 

I’ve been worrying all week that I’m not doing the assignment right. I’m not sitting wth myself and sitting still as much as I was told to. But those times I did meditate, repeat mantras, journal, talk to the aspects of me (and love them), and sit down to read and do some of Gabby Bernstein’s work had so much power, it makes me believe that doing more of it will intensify. I believe that I have a huge calling. I know that the Universe has big plans. But for now, I must learn through every experience. 

In just a few days, I have been given so many opportunities and have just believe and said yes. I will figure out the rest as I go…

Part of me feels like Lisa will be disappointed in my work this week. But the other part of me hears her sigh of relief knowing that I am paving my own way beautifully as me. Expectations, right? She simply assigned something to me and it was up to me to discipline myself and discern how it was going to go. It was up to the Universe, my divine being, to pave it out. I hope that I am correct in this thought, but feel like Lisa would agree because expectations are bullshit. But vacillation is here, and I love her so much. She and indecision are two special ones that make me who I am. 

Everything I’ve just accepted to do is about to be a huge lesson. I can feel it. So here’s to venturing out, letting my higher self carry the torch before me, and give me the strength to love myself so much that I create my own destiny. She’s telling me to REMEMBER: nobody is out to get you, and it’s nobody’s fault, they are simply a mirror for me and I will love them. I create my destiny. I am the center of my universe. Love will guide me. Universe is saying “have no fear in the power that you hold for yourself, it’s time to step into it!” 

xx

Pretty powerful, right? If this assignment calls to you, I really think it’s worth trying! Now I am more mindful in my everyday interactions with myself and others and know when to unplug from the world, get out in nature, or just simply be still.

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For those of you interested in Reiki or any spiritual life coaching, I highly recommend finding someone that you really connect with before just going for the first google match in your area. Lisa was my hair stylist in Colorado, and once I saw she did Life Coaching it just unfolded organically. She is incredible if you live in Aspen/Snowmass, and also does Reiki distant work! Her website here! Trust your intuition, you will know the right one for you 🙂

 

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next step

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Woah.. so this is a major transition phase. I’m currently at home resetting before my next move, and I am all over the place! It’s crazy to think that my entire life has been shaped by the “next step”: you go to school and work towards the next grade, apply to high school, apply to college, and now what? Sure, I could just keep moving into an entry level job and climb the corporate ladder, but I don’t see any happiness and fulfillment there. So instead, I’m choosing to spend this time discovering more about myself and what kind of impact I want to have on the world.

(To those of you who went straight to work, I’m not totally hating on you.. some of you already knew what you wanted and I respect you for your drive!)

Anyways, this time is not easy. I know it’s not supposed to be. I have so many things I want to do, so many places I want to see, and for some reason feel like there’s not enough time. I can already tell that in the future I will look back and think I was crazy to think I had so little time to see the world. But at the same time, I don’t want to sit back and let time fly.

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So for now, I am trying to seek comfort in the chaos. I hope to learn and grow in the next year through new experiences. I want to take on different jobs and discover what drives me the most. My dream would be to be able to travel for my career…how cool would it be to travel with the World Surf League? I am passionate about the action sport industry, so I plan to spend this time finding what works best for me.

But at the same time, I am not locking myself into any commitments yet, as tempting as it is to be comfortable. I long to be in my home base, but have the rest of my life to do that. I want to make sure I experience as much as I can, and believe that these lessons will land me in the right place at the right time. It won’t be easy, but I know it’s right for me!

x

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[ You can also see what inspires me on Pinterest! ]


it’s the most wonderful time!

Okay, so it’s the beginning of November and Christmas decor is in full gear in the United States. It becomes so overwhelming, time flies, and suddenly you’re scrambling to find gifts for friends and family. I thought it would be laid back in Australia, but the decorations around the mall are up and the music is playing! In an effort to help you find the perfect gift for your friends and family with different interests, I’ve made up the perfect gift guide! All you have to do is tie it in a bow an you’re set–I did all the research you need! xx

christmas guide pic

homebody:

Timree makes the cutest hand-painted ceramics, school supplies, paintings, and many other fun things! I love her company, I went to the store in Newport Beach and it looks like so much fun for paint parties! These make the perfect gift for family members, or friends who want to store their jewelry in a personal dish!

organized:

Gigi New York has a great selection of planners, personal items, purses, etc. I also love Clare Vivier, which is a similar leather accessory company. The fold over clutches are perfect for a night out or on the go. I want every color! Both designers both have a men’s collection as well–for those looking for a gift for your dad, husband, or boyfriend : )

beach-goer:

The Beach People towels have been a hit all over Australia. I even added one to my Christmas list! They are super cute and go great with a pair of mirror shades–I thought these Wildfox ones were fun!

simple accessorizer:

Catbird NYC has the most gorgeous, dainty jewelry that makes the perfect personal gift. I love the stacking rings, it’s fun to collect over time. I’ve been noticing these adorable French-made bracelets by SAB&SAB all over Sydney, they too make the perfect collectible piece!

tech-savvy:

I love Frends headphones (as mentioned in my previous post)! There’s different kinds and colors, and of course provide great sound–I have these ones on my list as well: ). I just recently bought this Boostcase, since my phone dies so quickly here. They have a lot of pretty pastel colors, and the battery pack can be detached when you don’t need it.

scent-seekers:

Palm Beach Collection is a great Australian brand, I have a ton of them all over my apartment here! I also can’t go without my Calypso Bellini perfume. I have the candle for that too–so if it’s hard to order the Palm Beach candle from the US, the Calypso candle is just as great!

beauty queen:

I can’t get enough of frank body scrub–I actually just did my weekly scrub today! It makes to perfect gift and works great. I love the brand, and all of their cheeky descriptions. Glam Glow is a hit! I have both the moisturizing and mud mask and they work wonders! You can find it on Amazon, at Sephora, or Mecca (for all my Aussie readers!)